I'm having trouble not believing every tall blond woman I see isn't a cylon.
As ever, I am plagued with guilt about not being at work, but this time I'm fighting it. I'm ill, damnit. I'll do what we always do. Fight 'em until we can't.
Oh, no. That's something else.
I went to see The Boyfriend in hospital today.
Upon laying eyes on him I was hit by an unexpected rush of love and protectiveness, and a kind of stupid pride that he was easily the youngest and most attractive man on his ward. I brought him flowers. Then I went to the nurses' station to ask for a vase. Do you have a vase? I asked. A what? Said the nurse. A vase, I repeated. Then this exchange followed:
Nurse: Vase?
Me: Vase.
Nurse: Vase.
Nurse: Vase?
Me: Vase.
Apparently the Nigerian nurse had trouble deciphering my, generic English, accent. Despite our both pronouncing "vase" exactly the same way ("vhaarz").
The Boyfriend is on IV antibiotics and hasn't seen his surgeon yet, so we don't know when he will be discharged. But he's surprisingly chipper: he has no pain in his leg. They zapped the nerves in his leg with an electric shock before operating, to numb it. This will wear off and he will be in considerable pain. But for now he's on a quiet ward with plenty to read, and now, some sunflowers. In a vhaarz.
We spent a pleasant 4 hours together, doing what we normally do on Saturday afternoons -- hanging out, reading the paper, chatting. And then it was time to go. Again, I was hit by a wave of emotion: a sudden, gnawing melancholy. I wanted to scoop him up and take him home right then. But I bit my lip and dabbed the corners of my eyes, and swung my bag on my shoulder with such false bravado that, with force, I whacked his bad leg.
He's starting to get some feeling back now, apparently.
I learned a new word today: glückschmerz - sorrow at someone else's happiness. The opposite of schadenfreude (pleasure from someone else's misfortune).
I'm exhausted. tonight I shall go to bed early with a book. But first I am going to make myself a steaming bowl of pasta and watch X-Factor. I imagine glückschmerz and schadenfreude will both feature.
The Boyfriend has just sent me a text message saying "ow". So I'm going to take a wild guess and say he's out of surgery. To bed, perchance to sleep!
Today, in song....
~Bow now now now now~
My cat has cat flu...
~Bow now now now now~
My man is under the knife...
~Bow now now now now~
Feel like this Friday...
~Bow now now now now~
Will last the rest of my life...
I got the Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaayyyyy blues
Oh dem Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaayyyyy blues
Gonna last me all day
~Bow now now now now~
I have to examine my cat's poo
~Bow now now now now~
And feed her chicken and rice
~Bow now now now now~
I have to help my man get to the loo
~Bow now now now now~
I'm not even his goddamn wife
I got the Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaayyyyy blues
Oh dem Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaayyyyy blues
Gonna last me all day
~Bow now now now now~
Tonight I'll get me some pizza
~Bow now now now now~
And some chateau neuf
~Bow now now now now~
And if anyone wants anything from me
~Bow now now now now~
I'll tell them to fuck oeuf
I got the Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaayyyyy blues
I'll have dem Friiiiiiidaaaaaaaaayyyyy blues
Till at least Saturday
Tomorrow The Boyfriend goes in for surgery on his ankle which will leave him hobbled and unable to drive for 3 months. Next Friday I am jetting off to Spain. In between, I need to
- Work full-time
- Be on hand to care for The Boyfriend
- Go to the opticians
- Squeeze in a quick visit to my mother to see how she's doing (which may involve an overnight stay)
- Arrange stuff for my mother if she needs it
- Do 2 weeks' grocery shopping
- Edit 100 pages of copy
- Pick up 2 parcels from our ridiculously inaccessible Post Office
- Take the cat to the vet
- Find time to sleep
A time travel device would be really handy right now.
Have a fantabulous day! I expeck to see appropriate Flickr postage...
xxx
Today I
- Stole some tea
- Had marshmallows stuck to my face
- Lost a no-brainer eBay auction for someone who was stuck in a meeting the entire time. The item went for £150 less than his top price...
- Compared myself to a hedgehog during a meeting
- Was delayed on my way home by a "person under a train"
- Discovered my old office is haunted
And now to bed.
Self loathing is the #1 pastime enjoyed by people with low self esteem.
From Kristen Dyrr's tutorial on sabotaging yourself:
- When a credit card "stops working," apply for a new one.
- You're not the only one with flaws, so make sure to always point out everyone else's flaws as well.
- Take up another hobby: smoking.
The woman's an amateur! Why, this weekend alone I've managed to take the news of a former peer's apparent success as a cue to oil the downward spiral of self-loathing and take a running leap onto it, hitting every unfinished project on the way down.
But that was yesterday. Today is a good day -
- My loan has come through
- I've somehow managed to work through this scrunchy jealous feeling
- I've made some music
- Despite having flouted all my healthy eating plans for the last month, I discovered that I have not put on an ounce
- So we're having pizza and fro yo for dinner! Yay!
The hump is smaller, after many applications of ice packs and Nurofen gel. It's puffy and painful - like a sprained ankle in my neck. Can you sprain your neck?
My favourites from today's Ask Metafilter - would a bag collapse if I sucked the air out of it in outer space? And how many camels is my girlfriend worth?
